I feel like I am drowning.
The water threatening to cover my head.
So many things to do.
Food to make,meals to prepare,notes to be written,uniforms to be washed and ironed.
Homework to be supervised
I find myself exhausted
Wanting to crawl back into bed
And often doing just that
Then feeling guilty for it
I am lonely but can’t do anything about it
I feel like such a fake
Putting on a *happy face* for the girls
And all the time wanting to scream
It took me over an hour yday to make a tuna casserole
Having to work in bits because I needed to sit down every ten minutes
It sucks
I feel useless.
I feel tired and old and overwhelmed.
The water is swirling above my head
I fear it would be too easy to just give in to it.
Comments on: "Drowning." (5)
But you can’t – and you won’t – give in to it Pixie. Why are you making up the girls packed lunches? My boys did their own once they were at High School. Ditto the ironing, I’m sure the girls could help out with this at the weekends even if it means paying them a little more pocket money. You really do not have to do every single thing yourself – especially not when it makes you feel so bad on the days it gets too much for you. Stop beating yourself up and ask for help. I can’t do anything about your loneliness but maybe try a new group or class once you are out of this bad patch. Can’t hurt, may help. I have great faith in you. You are one very talented caring lady who deserves to enjoy life, not endure it.
Never give up. Never.
I agree – the girls are very capable of pitching it and making their own lunches and ironing.
I hope you make it to your Patching class soon , to give you an outlet and something to look forward to.
The girls help out a huge amount
.they have tons of homework which usually keeps them busy from 4pm til about 8pm
They only have 2 uniforms each so they need to be washed and ironed most days.
We usually make sandwiches for a week or two to freeze
I am not sure if I will get to patchwork. The fear just paralyses me.
Just a thought…do your girls keep the uniforms clean? If so, they could be worn for more than one day. My girls had two uniforms each and wore one for three days, then the other for the remaining two days, unless the dress got grubby. (Then it was rinsed if possible or tossed in the hamper). It simplified the washing and ironing, as I only washed clothes on Saturdays, (sheets and towels were done on Sundays) then ironed at night while TV and homework were going on. Once they were older, they ironed their own clothes and even ran the washing machine. Could the girls possibly take turns with cooking the weekend dinners to give you a break?