11 years ago,a chain of events started that would change our lives forever.
My oldest daughter,then 12,started running away.
3 times over 5 days.
It was harrowing.
Driving the streets looking for her,ringing hospitals and morgues.
The final time,she never came home.
She chose to never live with us ever again
She felt she was unfairly treated.
Police were involved
They were gentle and understanding about the lies that had been told.
DoCS were also involved
They thought we were shocking parents.
Simply because we wouldn’t put up with her crap
Stealing.lying,setting fires,jigging school,forging my signature,harming her sisters,harming herself,threatening me.
She told me that if I really loved her,I would never have wanted any more children.that I should kill the other children and then it could all go back to how it was.
I had a 3 yr old that never spoke outside the house.
Whose pre school teachers were VERY concerned about her non- verbalisation.
I also had 1 yr old twins.
We took her to many paediatricians,child psychiatrists.
She fooled them all.
To be honest,I was relieved when she first left
It was much calmer.
No more walking on eggshells depending on her mood.
No more having to watch her constantly around the younger children.
After wearing out her welcome at some friends houses,
She ended up living with my husbands sister.
This got very messy and nasty
It caused a huge rift between my husband and his family.
I missed her dreadfully
And I still do.
I had a breakdown after she left,such was my grief.
I have seen her maybe 5 times, since she left.
She is now 23 and has a child of her own.
People told me she would see the error of her ways once she was older,once she left school,once she had a child.
None of this made the slightest difference.
I don’t hold out any hope
It hurts too much.
I have learnt that hope makes you vulnerable
That hope promises things it can’t deliver.
That hope can ruin lives.
I don’t hope anymore.
I simply can’t.
Comments on: "11years ago." (6)
{{{{{HUGS}}}}
I wish things were different. I know how much you love and miss her. Sending my love and gentle hugs. Please know that none of this was your fault…..
She had recently left when I first met you. I’ve always known how much you love her and how hard the situation she created has been on you and your family.
I know teenagers do some terrible things,I am sorry that it happened to your family. (hugs)
My sister is going through a terrible time with her 13 yr (foster daughter , though blood related) I don’t know what to say or how to help her.
Sending you a big hug…….and lots of understanding!
Take care xx
I was so sad to read this, I know how hard it must be on you. you do know, of course that the way she was/is, isn’t at all your fault. Your parenting is not at fault. Some people are born differently wired and nothing can be done if they won’t accept help or admit they are different.
All you can do is love her from a distance and your grandchild too. Take joy in your younger girls, they are delightful and such a credit to you.